841. At this point the reader will perhaps exclaim in surprise, "Can one achieve cosmic consciousness through an abnormal sexual act and orientation?" And the answer to this has to be an absolute "no". All the beings for whom the aforementioned sexual behaviour and orientation is abnormal, which in turn means all the beings that more or less appear one-poled, will find that this kind of sexual orientation will in practice very easily initiate a direct "descent into hell", that is to say, the beginning of a series of lives in a culmination of suffering and mental darkness. Do not think for a moment that any kind of "abnormal" phenomenon will enable one to gain access to the most perfect and high initiation, or to be totally overshadowed by "the holy spirit". On the contrary, all "abnormal" phenomena constitute the "guardians of the threshold" or guarantee that one cannot enter without having "wedding clothes" on. In due course, we shall touch on some of the terrible pitfalls and abysses that human beings can fall into when, being still unfinished and acting far too prematurely, they are moved by the forces that directly open the gates to the eternal light, the new paradise or the consciousness of God itself. Do not believe that all that is required to acquire this is a mere momentary act of will that one can initiate and fulfil as easily and quickly as following a recipe from a cookery book. Do not believe that by making some experiment or other you can immediately obtain "cosmic consciousness". Those who attempt this are directly and with absolute certainty steering their lives with great speed towards the dark spheres of mental illness and derangement. The volitional sexual act must be in harmony with the being's natural sexual desire. One cannot with impunity engage in forms of sexual satisfaction whose driving force is quite different from one's true, inner sexual need. If it is only out of a hundred per cent need for money or desire to obtain other forms of material or mental benefits that one engages in sexual acts and releases that have nothing whatsoever to do with one's own actual sexual urge, one will be breaking down the very highest factor of life within oneself. One will gradually discover that one can no longer attain the pleasure and joy in sexual release that were formerly one's greatest pleasure. Having engaged in the new sexual releases, which were in the beginning really only a means of obtaining money or other benefits, one has imperceptibly undermined one's ability to find satisfaction in the sexual act that is in accordance with one's natural mental level. And as the new sexual phenomena that one has engaged in are not natural for one's level either and cannot give the inspiration, exuberance or enjoyment in life that are necessary to maintain a healthy mind and body, one is in anything but a sphere of happiness. One cannot find happiness through what originally came naturally, nor can one turn back from the new phenomena that may perhaps provide the material benefits that one had hoped for but that are very far from providing the zest for life that is the being's natural general condition of well-being.